Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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