Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Texas (817)

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  (817): View more from Texas

  Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.

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  (817): Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned. http://tfl.nu/x9uh
  Replies (7) Good night (2178) Bad night (1207) Order T-Shirt
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  Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.

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  (817): Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer. http://tfl.nu/3l5u
  Replies (6) Good night (2743) Bad night (469) Order T-Shirt
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  I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.

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  (817): I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut. http://tfl.nu/n51l
  Replies (14) Good night (2519) Bad night (973) Order T-Shirt
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  The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?

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  (817): The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen? http://tfl.nu/1u3n
  Replies (8) Good night (408) Bad night (2303) Order T-Shirt
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  then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.

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  (817): then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand. http://tfl.nu/4p59
  Replies (6) Good night (1096) Bad night (659) Order T-Shirt
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  Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....

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  (817): Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system.... http://tfl.nu/zett
  Replies (9) Good night (2527) Bad night (588) Order T-Shirt
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  You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all

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  (817): You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all http://tfl.nu/x3bd
  Replies (18) Good night (2583) Bad night (462) Order T-Shirt
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  Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.

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  (817): Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass. http://tfl.nu/wbhi
  Replies (18) Good night (3217) Bad night (611) Order T-Shirt
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  Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.

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  (817): Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent. http://tfl.nu/lzjs
  Replies (6) Good night (2522) Bad night (650) Order T-Shirt
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  Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.

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  (817): Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up. http://tfl.nu/ymie
  Replies (20) Good night (720) Bad night (3602) Order T-Shirt
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  did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?

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  (817): did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER? http://tfl.nu/7lnp
  Replies (10) Good night (1770) Bad night (963) Order T-Shirt
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  Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.

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  (817): Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes. http://tfl.nu/hziw
  Replies (10) Good night (2318) Bad night (642) Order T-Shirt
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  I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.

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  (817): I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas. http://tfl.nu/7s9z
  Replies (14) Good night (4047) Bad night (563) Order T-Shirt
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  If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.

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  (817): If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun. http://tfl.nu/31s3
  Replies (8) Good night (1155) Bad night (1235) Order T-Shirt
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  I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in

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  (817): I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in http://tfl.nu/jhp8
  Replies (6) Good night (2810) Bad night (558) Order T-Shirt