Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.