P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.