I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head