I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle