Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (734)

Last Night in Michigan (734)

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I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.

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(734): I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued. http://tfl.nu/8osh

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If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.

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(734): If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward. http://tfl.nu/ahbe

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I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.

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(734): I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play. http://tfl.nu/5k4o

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Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks

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(734): Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks http://tfl.nu/mb18

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Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.

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(734): Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator. http://tfl.nu/c745

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Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?

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(734): Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys? http://tfl.nu/5z2s

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He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.

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(734): He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls. http://tfl.nu/b02k

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Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.

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(734): Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go. http://tfl.nu/sxv0

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It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back

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(734): It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back http://tfl.nu/xmyb

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So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.

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(734): So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know. http://tfl.nu/o6il

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the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.

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(734): the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity. http://tfl.nu/gric

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Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.

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(734): Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/2s7h

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She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.

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(734): She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night. http://tfl.nu/qun7

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Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.

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(734): Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on. http://tfl.nu/8pzz

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Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.

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(734): Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword. http://tfl.nu/ec7y

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Last Night in Michigan (734)

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