Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
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Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
If You’re One of These 12 Restaurant Customers, Your Server is Definitely Spitting in Your Food
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
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