Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Follow @tfln