I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement