Texts From Last Night

Last Night in California (619)

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  We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"

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  (619): We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober" http://tfl.nu/gqaj
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  Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.

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  (619): Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer. http://tfl.nu/flbo
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  Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.

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  (619): Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating. http://tfl.nu/bhg3
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  Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.

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  (619): Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell. http://tfl.nu/xu8z
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  why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu

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  (619): why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu http://tfl.nu/w1ae
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  FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??

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  (619): FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight?? http://tfl.nu/oa1o
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  Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose

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  (619): Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose http://tfl.nu/7c4h
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  It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.

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  (619): It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth. http://tfl.nu/0yym
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  We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.

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  (619): We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed. http://tfl.nu/uy5s
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  Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.

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  (619): Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out. http://tfl.nu/o96t
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  Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.

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  (619): Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor. http://tfl.nu/2isj
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  So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.

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  (619): So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side. http://tfl.nu/rosc
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  My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.

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  (619): My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can. http://tfl.nu/8tit
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  i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already

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  (619): i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already http://tfl.nu/q3zb
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  surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.

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  (619): surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk. http://tfl.nu/u5eo
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