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Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
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