He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.