after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.