I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
We need a shit load of segways right now
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment