As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
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you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
We need a shit load of segways right now
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans