I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
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Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
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we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.