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You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
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