Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.