He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
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Ladies don't puke and tell
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
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I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.