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She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
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