I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr