Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Minnesota (507)

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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...

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  (507): She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart... http://tfl.nu/kgd9
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  All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon

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  (507): All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon http://tfl.nu/xv5b
  Replies (12) Good night (1670) Bad night (2224)
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  Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club

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  (507): Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club http://tfl.nu/ln6l
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  How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation

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  (507): How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation http://tfl.nu/mdo6
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  Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.

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  (507): Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over. http://tfl.nu/ztri
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  Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.

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  (507): Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES. http://tfl.nu/ydba
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  I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.

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  (507): I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is. http://tfl.nu/v0y7
  Replies (9) Good night (742) Bad night (2415)
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  Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins

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  (507): Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins http://tfl.nu/hk0d
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  I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya

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  (507): I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya http://tfl.nu/oizi
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  there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut

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  (507): there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut http://tfl.nu/7k06
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  That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.

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  (507): That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form. http://tfl.nu/4aa9
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  So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.

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  (507): So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there. http://tfl.nu/r47h
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  I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point

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  (507): I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point http://tfl.nu/celc
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  The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."

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  (507): The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older." http://tfl.nu/7qja
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  i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.

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  (507): i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches. http://tfl.nu/cp2j
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