When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.