he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman