Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Pennsylvania (484)

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  Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?

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  (484): Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with? http://tfl.nu/xos6
  Replies (9) Good night (1711) Bad night (482) Order T-Shirt
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  siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.

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  (484): siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape. http://tfl.nu/kj0n
  Replies (3) Good night (1469) Bad night (439) Order T-Shirt
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  I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.

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  (484): I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive. http://tfl.nu/gosk
  Replies (4) Good night (4197) Bad night (519) Order T-Shirt
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  I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.

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  tell her thanks so much

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  (570): I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences. (484): tell her thanks so much http://tfl.nu/mozf
  Replies (5) Good night (1974) Bad night (492)
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  Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.

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  (484): Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that. http://tfl.nu/p43x
  Replies (6) Good night (502) Bad night (2000) Order T-Shirt
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  After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.

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  (484): After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me. http://tfl.nu/p7tl
  Replies (6) Good night (705) Bad night (1393) Order T-Shirt
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  he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.

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  (484): he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended. http://tfl.nu/6aj3
  Replies (2) Good night (581) Bad night (1145) Order T-Shirt
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  We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.

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  (484): We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/e0nu
  Replies (9) Good night (1386) Bad night (461) Order T-Shirt
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  if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.

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  (484): if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate. http://tfl.nu/ujin
  Replies (7) Good night (2391) Bad night (680) Order T-Shirt
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  how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time

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  you found the shrooms didnt you

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  (484): how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time (215): you found the shrooms didnt you http://tfl.nu/rmts
  Replies (7) Good night (4110) Bad night (530)
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  i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.

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  (484): i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen. http://tfl.nu/hdza
  Replies (16) Good night (3820) Bad night (703) Order T-Shirt
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  judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.

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  (484): judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog. http://tfl.nu/kq70
  Replies (6) Good night (2013) Bad night (566) Order T-Shirt
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  Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"

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  (484): Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret" http://tfl.nu/9brs
  Replies (20) Good night (4802) Bad night (590)
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  it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.

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  (484): it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way. http://tfl.nu/08h1
  Replies (5) Good night (959) Bad night (455) Order T-Shirt
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  announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.

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  (484): announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention. http://tfl.nu/v327
  Replies (11) Good night (1985) Bad night (367) Order T-Shirt