I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright