My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious