Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.