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Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
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