Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Nebraska (402)

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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...

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  (402): Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem... http://tfl.nu/aasf
  Replies (2) Good night (613) Bad night (166) Order T-Shirt
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  It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.

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  (402): It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off. http://tfl.nu/33ez
  Replies (1) Good night (482) Bad night (244) Order T-Shirt
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  I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink

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  (402): I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink http://tfl.nu/3wto
  Replies (7) Good night (769) Bad night (201)
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  Why does my jaw hurt?

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  I may have punched you.

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  (303): Why does my jaw hurt? (402): I may have punched you. http://tfl.nu/tz5g
  Replies (7) Good night (1605) Bad night (335)
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  I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick

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  (402): I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick http://tfl.nu/ipiq
  Replies (3) Good night (279) Bad night (676) Order T-Shirt
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  dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo

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  (402): dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo http://tfl.nu/g9sl
  Replies (7) Good night (629) Bad night (250) Order T-Shirt
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  Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.

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  (402): Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that. http://tfl.nu/hrua
  Replies (2) Good night (234) Bad night (475) Order T-Shirt
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  I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again

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  (402): I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again http://tfl.nu/3l87
  Replies (0) Good night (654) Bad night (291) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.

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  (402): We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake. http://tfl.nu/fynu
  Replies (8) Good night (508) Bad night (702) Order T-Shirt
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  Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab

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  (402): Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab http://tfl.nu/rn99
  Replies (3) Good night (597) Bad night (248) Order T-Shirt
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  Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.

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  (402): Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling. http://tfl.nu/cu5s
  Replies (16) Good night (306) Bad night (1771) Order T-Shirt
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  Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?

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  (402): Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight? http://tfl.nu/u33p
  Replies (4) Good night (959) Bad night (267) Order T-Shirt
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  If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed

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  (402): If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed http://tfl.nu/sm0v
  Replies (2) Good night (643) Bad night (228) Order T-Shirt
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  You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit

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  (402): You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit http://tfl.nu/nx74
  Replies (6) Good night (688) Bad night (289) Order T-Shirt
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  Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.

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  (402): Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains. http://tfl.nu/xruv
  Replies (8) Good night (1236) Bad night (337) Order T-Shirt