Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.