All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.