Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
True strength comes from lack of pants
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'