My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?