Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
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I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
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We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.