If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock