My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.