Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Texas (281)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning. http://tfl.nu/ijln
  Replies (4) Good night (3015) Bad night (642) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas. http://tfl.nu/8z68
  Replies (9) Good night (2723) Bad night (1702) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled http://tfl.nu/gplx
  Replies (20) Good night (774) Bad night (4045) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body http://tfl.nu/esoz
  Replies (17) Good night (3116) Bad night (737) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO. http://tfl.nu/9byh
  Replies (28) Good night (3987) Bad night (687) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself. http://tfl.nu/4mrf
  Replies (20) Good night (1278) Bad night (2513) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this. http://tfl.nu/u3zd
  Replies (45) Good night (9506) Bad night (1020)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up. http://tfl.nu/tbqv
  Replies (18) Good night (961) Bad night (3500) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems". http://tfl.nu/zcya
  Replies (11) Good night (3477) Bad night (1123) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing. http://tfl.nu/duvr
  Replies (14) Good night (577) Bad night (2551) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.

  (979): View more from Texas

  I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me. (979): I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys. http://tfl.nu/btxr
  Replies (23) Good night (5109) Bad night (1433)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's. http://tfl.nu/ot6m
  Replies (137) Good night (6484) Bad night (5108) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely. http://tfl.nu/tovx
  Replies (16) Good night (4575) Bad night (693) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night. http://tfl.nu/0cve
  Replies (71) Good night (1136) Bad night (5938) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer http://tfl.nu/c3p9
  Replies (32) Good night (10505) Bad night (889) Order T-Shirt