Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Texas (281)

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  (281): View more from Texas

  I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.

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  (281): I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth. http://tfl.nu/cgjr
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts

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  (281): I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts http://tfl.nu/b2dg
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  NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.

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  (281): NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME. http://tfl.nu/v341
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  And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.

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  (281): And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways. http://tfl.nu/b6k4
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  I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.

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  (281): I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break. http://tfl.nu/hgxj
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  Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.

  (940): View more from Texas

  Deal.

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  (281): Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass. (940): Deal. http://tfl.nu/ji2y
  Replies (14) Good night (2772) Bad night (510)
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  I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..

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  (281): I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy.. http://tfl.nu/39a9
  Replies (12) Good night (2895) Bad night (495)
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  Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?

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  If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!

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  (214): Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex? (281): If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy! http://tfl.nu/0a5o
  Replies (16) Good night (2232) Bad night (462)
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  I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.

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  (281): I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that. http://tfl.nu/d3y7
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  I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.

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  (281): I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever. http://tfl.nu/j15t
  Replies (5) Good night (1863) Bad night (411) Order T-Shirt
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.

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  (281): Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'. http://tfl.nu/zfmg
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  (281): View more from Texas

  It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night

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  (281): It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night http://tfl.nu/xp13
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  (281): View more from Texas

  you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka

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  (281): you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka http://tfl.nu/l68b
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  Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.

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  (281): Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his. (832): I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you. http://tfl.nu/5mgo
  Replies (3) Good night (1491) Bad night (549)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning

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  (281): Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning http://tfl.nu/3d0d
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