she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??