Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Texas (281)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet. http://tfl.nu/oj89
  Replies (13) Good night (1771) Bad night (495) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have. http://tfl.nu/1d5c
  Replies (10) Good night (3568) Bad night (462) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms. http://tfl.nu/qnq5
  Replies (18) Good night (1737) Bad night (703)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap http://tfl.nu/xw89
  Replies (5) Good night (672) Bad night (1090) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons. http://tfl.nu/y27y
  Replies (6) Good night (3070) Bad night (567)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind. http://tfl.nu/2oc1
  Replies (8) Good night (2844) Bad night (588) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low. http://tfl.nu/mevg
  Replies (5) Good night (789) Bad night (1176) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips. http://tfl.nu/z4q3
  Replies (7) Good night (1252) Bad night (984) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car. http://tfl.nu/4osg
  Replies (8) Good night (453) Bad night (1496) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either http://tfl.nu/fgrs
  Replies (6) Good night (1454) Bad night (662) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add. http://tfl.nu/n27a
  Replies (27) Good night (3091) Bad night (570) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night. http://tfl.nu/k3ni
  Replies (5) Good night (807) Bad night (1498) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers. http://tfl.nu/dra4
  Replies (7) Good night (3590) Bad night (642) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight. http://tfl.nu/l97c
  Replies (7) Good night (2223) Bad night (1426)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop. http://tfl.nu/puvx
  Replies (4) Good night (820) Bad night (1522) Order T-Shirt