I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.