Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Texas (281)

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  I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.

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  (281): I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked. http://tfl.nu/jbhc
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  It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.

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  (281): It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly. http://tfl.nu/y0mx
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  threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.

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  (281): threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud. http://tfl.nu/mjwl
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  and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.

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  (281): and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst. http://tfl.nu/n2zz
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  I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on

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  (281): I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on http://tfl.nu/3rfp
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  Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal

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  (281): Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal http://tfl.nu/lnon
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  I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.

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  (281): I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard. http://tfl.nu/jw0e
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  my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family

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  (281): my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family http://tfl.nu/olwi
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  Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.

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  (281): Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment. http://tfl.nu/djy3
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  thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.

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  (281): thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone. http://tfl.nu/c518
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  Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.

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  (281): Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together. http://tfl.nu/69iq
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  My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone

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  (281): My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone http://tfl.nu/zfoz
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  Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?

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  (281): Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"? http://tfl.nu/nflv
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  Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.

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  (281): Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes. http://tfl.nu/y77d
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  Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.

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  (281): Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others. http://tfl.nu/smz5
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