Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (269)

Last Night in Michigan (269)

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(269): View more from Michigan

We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.

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(269): We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all. http://tfl.nu/epk0

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Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?

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death...100% death...what r u planning.

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(269): Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip? (313): death...100% death...what r u planning. http://tfl.nu/azwl

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(269): View more from Michigan

quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.

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(269): quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it. http://tfl.nu/uc5u

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All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.

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Gonna go for any of them?

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Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.

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(248): All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go. (269): Gonna go for any of them? (248): Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us. http://tfl.nu/3pp6

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No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.

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(269): No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success. http://tfl.nu/5coq

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Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."

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(269): Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer." http://tfl.nu/35qp

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I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.

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(269): I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon. http://tfl.nu/pf1i

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Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.

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(269): Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus. http://tfl.nu/d22v

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Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.

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(269): Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it. http://tfl.nu/0nwk

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I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.

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(269): I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you. http://tfl.nu/jro0

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I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.

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(269): I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE. http://tfl.nu/167y

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I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals

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(269): I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals http://tfl.nu/d194

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its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"

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(269): its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot" http://tfl.nu/fb26

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Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"

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(269): Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision" http://tfl.nu/cg26

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My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.

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(269): My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow. http://tfl.nu/11lx

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Last Night in Michigan (269)

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