I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.