Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die