he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.