Texts From Last Night

Last Night in British Columbia (250)

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  Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.

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  (250): Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults. http://tfl.nu/wfm3
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  When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine

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  (250): When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine http://tfl.nu/jea9
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  i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was

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  Thats why they were on the balcony!

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  (250): i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was (1-250): Thats why they were on the balcony! http://tfl.nu/y0xc
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  Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.

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  (250): Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles. http://tfl.nu/jjec
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  we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.

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  (250): we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time. http://tfl.nu/w6xu
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  You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.

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  (250): You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette. http://tfl.nu/i44j
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  your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party

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  (250): your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party http://tfl.nu/pnv8
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  We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend

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  (250): We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend http://tfl.nu/c0is
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  I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.

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  What the fuck, why would you ever do that?

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  Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?

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  (250): I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much. (1-250): What the fuck, why would you ever do that? (250): Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball? http://tfl.nu/mk5m
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  Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.

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  We are the best.

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  Ps. We need to take the garbage out.

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  (250): Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job. (1-250): We are the best. (250): Ps. We need to take the garbage out. http://tfl.nu/i0yw
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  Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.

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  (250): Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November. http://tfl.nu/s7yk
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  My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.

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  (250): My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single. http://tfl.nu/erf4
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  We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...

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  (250): We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID... http://tfl.nu/i2zd
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  do u know what happened to the bottles last night?

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  apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone

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  (250): do u know what happened to the bottles last night? (1-250): apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone http://tfl.nu/opnd
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  There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.

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  (250): There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo. http://tfl.nu/qbed
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