Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex