You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"