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do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
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