Texts From Last Night

Last Night in British Columbia (250)

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  Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.

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  (250): Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap. http://tfl.nu/f3x1
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  Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.

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  (250): Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward. http://tfl.nu/w09f
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  he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...

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  (250): he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom... http://tfl.nu/aduc
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  note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...

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  (250): note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex... http://tfl.nu/vx0w
  Replies (51) Good night (631) Bad night (5478) Order T-Shirt
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  He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."

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  (250): He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that." http://tfl.nu/vmd9
  Replies (37) Good night (1279) Bad night (5347) Order T-Shirt
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  Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.

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  (250): Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late. http://tfl.nu/oeer
  Replies (21) Good night (1208) Bad night (4731) Order T-Shirt
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  My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances

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  (250): My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances http://tfl.nu/ihp8
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  Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,

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  (250): Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog, http://tfl.nu/g0c0
  Replies (22) Good night (863) Bad night (4250) Order T-Shirt
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  she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.

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  (250): she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying. http://tfl.nu/nbti
  Replies (19) Good night (967) Bad night (3916) Order T-Shirt
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  WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??

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  (250): WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT?? http://tfl.nu/ty5z
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  i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now

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  (250): i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now http://tfl.nu/xz0v
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  Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs

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  (250): Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs http://tfl.nu/msvp
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  She bit a glass in half.

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  (250): She bit a glass in half. http://tfl.nu/3ugo
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  Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere

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  (250): Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere http://tfl.nu/ftm6
  Replies (10) Good night (544) Bad night (3295) Order T-Shirt
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  My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.

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  (250): My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part. http://tfl.nu/8pmc
  Replies (11) Good night (1052) Bad night (3252) Order T-Shirt