I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas