We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.