We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
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just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.