I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
It's official drugs can't kill me
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."