You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store