You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis