Slow dancing with the chandelier.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?