proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
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I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz