I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
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He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.