Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.