I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.