they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
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Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
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The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time