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Last Night in Kentucky (270)

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The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.

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(270): The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home. http://tfl.nu/2p12

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So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.

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(270): So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know. http://tfl.nu/0mbm

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There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.

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(270): There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal. http://tfl.nu/1sv3

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T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.

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I'm jealous

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My throat feels like a candle.

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(270): T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English. (1-270): I'm jealous (270): My throat feels like a candle. http://tfl.nu/vpw9

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Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.

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(270): Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high. http://tfl.nu/tn40

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She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill

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(270): She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill http://tfl.nu/d0h5

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I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her

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(270): I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her http://tfl.nu/ank1

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Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?

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(270): Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house? http://tfl.nu/tnd3

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I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.

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(270): I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song. http://tfl.nu/5506

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If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.

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(270): If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit. http://tfl.nu/gpdl

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i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.

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(270): i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high. http://tfl.nu/s9x7

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32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!

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Hahahaha

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make that 40.

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(270): 32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha! (1-270): Hahahaha (270): make that 40. http://tfl.nu/5c9z

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I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.

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(270): I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you. http://tfl.nu/x17f

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Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile

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But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.

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(270): Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile (270): But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird. http://tfl.nu/vi1s

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I wanna come home

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And do what?

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Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.

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(270): I wanna come home (1-270): And do what? (270): Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat. http://tfl.nu/i6u9

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Last Night in Kentucky (270)

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