I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.