No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
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I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.