There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.