Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
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I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
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So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?