Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Mom said you looked used
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.