ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter