I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Life is so much better after having sex.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.