my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Life is so much better after having sex.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.