Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.